so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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