i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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