so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
