His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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