Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Welp...herpes.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
