***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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