seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize