We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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