You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
