He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
