I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
