It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
This is the high leading the old right now
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
