whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
