I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
