shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
