I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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