im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize