Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
