Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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