I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
