so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
thus making me awesome and them whores
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
