The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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