It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
