woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
