Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
