You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
You can't special order awesome
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize