You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
