I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
