Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Bring me that man meat
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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