How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
