She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
