He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
