Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
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