And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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