I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
