Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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