its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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