Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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