got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
