Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
