I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Randomize
