DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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