sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
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just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
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If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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