doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
