I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
