I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize