Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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