Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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