well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Two words: nipple clamps
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