Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
now i know why i became what i already was.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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