What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
