is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
