Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
i think my cat just said my name.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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