this boner is exhausting
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
