I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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