You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
