Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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