I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You ruined the universe
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
