Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
