omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
