My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
