I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize