i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
