As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
