Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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