Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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