her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
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i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Let's paint friendship bongs
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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