I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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