Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
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