we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
